This is the first entry I’ve made since my hasty departure from PDX. Fate/God has an interesting sense of humor. I felt an urgency and immediacy toward action that I haven’t felt in some time… a push toward accomplishment by any means necessary. Despite the financial mishap and any potential stigma of failure that might accompany it, I feel as though this transition is one that is/was needed. The laxity and inappropriate/irresponsible Bohemian lifestyle I had adopted wasn’t sustainable in the long term.
Between depending on the kindness of friends/family, adopting three jobs, and facing the intensity of this winter my character and the caliber of my resolve to overcome my situation and rise above it, have become paramount. I feel uneasy and blessed simultaneously. On one hand, I know this is all happening for a reason, on the other hand, I feel it’s impossible for me to take a breath and fully relax until I move into a place of self-sufficiency and upward growth. The hammer continues to strike the anvil and the shape and quality of the blade is uncertain yet, but what I do know is that my best effort is the requisite now, and with patience and slight modulation, the blade has the potential to cut through the eternal.
Forward, never backward from this day forward.