Darkness. Alluring. Subtle, yet insatiable. The momentum builds and can often appear to be the easiest to submit to. The light builds and reinforces as the darkness seeks to supplant the movement of growth. Often the simplest decision can change the course of a day. That day changes the week, changes the month, changes the character.
Exposure to the darkness seems inevitable and necessary, in fact. The polarity and subtleties of its effects need to be explored, and at times, endured in order for the salience of direction and intention to take root. I have felt a depth of darkness and despair, vivid and seemingly invulnerable to defeat. A darkness so consuming the state became normal and didn’t carry an overtly negative mental conception any more. That depth, in retrospect, was a necessary trial. The break in the half-decade storm was sudden. The light shone through in a sterling moment of clarity. An insurgence of self-worth, self-love, and self-respect, was accentuated by a spontaneous oath to myself, for myself. I chose to be happy, vowed to never mute my self-expression, and swore to embrace love. This was the initial step out of the darkness. The work and commitment endure to this day. The darkness beckons yet, but as I observe that grappling for influence and temporary relief or indulgence, the transience of the movement is clarified, and the lasting effect of the light in its ever-developing presence, steadily becomes the only logical influence to embrace.