Here I am waiting for my connecting flight in Denver, CO. On my way to my hometown and another month on my teacher’s property. Several people have asked me if I am stressed or excited, but I feel somewhat indifferent. There is a general neutrality in regard to the trip, and any sense of novelty or nostalgia is absent. I know that this month ought to be exciting or provoke some emotion, but despite the implications, all I can do is push forward. It’s important I remain unattached to the outcome and focus on dedicating myself completely to the work while analyzing how the environment is affecting me. Should be exciting, right?? I suppose there is a slight tension in the chest. A minor anxiety, but I have to focus on the work and make strides to better myself in the joyous environment.
I still get a kick from traveling, but I realize part of the joy is from the anonymity and ego. I feel like a rogue vagabond while traveling, without a clear identity or history, a specter free to accentuate that in public and keep people guessing… like I said, there’s some ego involved. I do feel generally confident, though. The wind has been steady, and those directional drafts arent for no reason. Here’s to the future!! Cheers! (Holds a coffee cup up).